as the sky darkens at night

I’m freaked out Freaked out about jumping in and having to run away wet. I’m scared but not wanting to show it. I’m wondering which way to go and who will be there to point me in the direction that I will probably pick the other to go in. I’m going to miss my cat and the veggies my small group of friends, flower outside my window, my bike. I’m going to miss this home, this space. I know I’ll miss her also the used to be lover now friend. I’m freaked out with the what if’s I’m scared about the big shops and not having my aunt the way I remember. I’m scared about the government and cry for peace. But, I must move on, I must cross the ocean and fill my soul with songs and love. I must believe that love will find a way into my heart to stay. I have hope it just sometimes get filled with scared bubbles that fill my inside as tears come down my face. I’m ready to have some stability in my life. Something to hold onto, someone to hold onto as the stars appear as the sky darkens at night and someone who will still be there as the bright new day begins. I’m scared, I’m freaked out and I have hope. I have soul filled love for this one.

train travels

In about a month of train travels I've been moving
= Warsaw, - Berlin, - Krakow, - Poznan, - Wroclaw, - Leszno , =
and all the little villages, towns, cities- along the way.

Poland's PKP train company has made this all possible.

Travels in the early morning, midday, and as the sun sets.
the Train moves and I move forward and backwards as we travel.

Watching, talking, sleeping ,eating, using the bathroom as we all move together traveling in time. In these fast and slow moments, pulses. We are all moving forward but some are sitting backwards.
I can handle both now, after all the train travel.

Sometimes the view is vast ~ sometimes you see the paint falling off the train station stop and the beggar and drunks around the corner.
Sometimes I see picnics on little bridges, sometimes markets, sometimes cows and sheep and sometimes cars and other trains with travelers.

Sometimes we move as slow as a bike but we are a train.
and sometimes the time goes so quickly it feels like a plane.

On a train you can sit back and watch the non-stop movie that goes by. The movie of reality that we are all apart of, go on and on and on.

My train travels has brought me to friends I don't see so often, has brought me to song, and songs along the way, the train has fed me along with the milkshake in Leszno on the street. The beers on the boat in Wroclaw and the train that brought me to the taxi that brought me to the what we think was the village of 4 houses that my great grand mother was from some 100 years back. She probally also took trains travels. Train travels to far away lands.

Trains have a peace to them, the movment like a rocking chair, the sounds so familiar, the people always different.

The need to take trains is in my body and heart. The need to travel, to train travel to learn more and watch and stop and listen and wander as time moves on. I move with it.

next stop....
who knows?